Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
