Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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