since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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