Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
