I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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