I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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