i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
