no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
