I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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