The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
