You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
