tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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