Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
