just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
