How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
