I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
