oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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