I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
