shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
