No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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