he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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