I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's a Shit stain on my heart
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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