Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
