I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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