I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
