and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
