I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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