I love black thongs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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