dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
