everyone is single if you try hard enough
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
