the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
