what day is it and did you see me today?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
