I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
