you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
