I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she looked like the before picture.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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