I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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