I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
