I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
