I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
