I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
