I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
