Say something about gay babies.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
