This is not my ceiling
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
