We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
