quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
jump out the window naked night went bad
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
