Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
