yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
