My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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