I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
"it" just moved
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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