My liver just broke up with me...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
