she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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