No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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