I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Everything about him screamed your future.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
